What Your Fetish Says About You

Gay and bisexual men have never exactly been short of fetishes to explore. But what actually makes one man gravitate towards leather outfits while another gets more turned on by a rubber hood, a sweaty jockstrap or being treated like the pathetic sub that he is?

Well, we’re going to look at what some popular fetishes can reveal about the things you’re actually drawn to… whether that’s masculinity, control, submission, scent, restriction, transformation, anonymity, community or something else entirely.

Leather & Masculinity

If leather’s more your thing, there’s a good chance you’re not just attracted to the material… you’re attracted to what it represents.

Leather has long been tied to traditionally masculine archetypes: bikers, soldiers, policemen, leathermen, dominant tops. So if boots, harnesses or full leather gear get you going, you may be especially drawn to confidence, authority, toughness or clearly defined power roles.

If you prefer wearing leather yourself, the appeal can be more about identity. Gear can make you feel more masculine, dominant, sexually confident or simply less like your everyday self.

And if it’s the smell, weight, or worn-in feel you obsess over? That points to a more sensory fetish, where scent, texture, and even the signs that somebody else has worn the leather become part of the attraction.

In short, leather often says you’re turned on by masculinity… but exactly what kind depends on which part of the gear gets you hardest.

Rubber, Latex & Transformation

If rubber or latex gets you going, transformation is often a big part of the appeal.

Unlike ordinary clothing, latex smooths out skin, exaggerates shape, hides body hair and, with a hood, can remove somebody’s face almost completely. If full encasement is your thing, you may be drawn to losing your ordinary appearance and becoming something more anonymous, controlled or object-like.

If you prefer watching somebody else wear it, you might be particularly attracted to that same transformation in a partner… especially the contrast between the man underneath and the shiny, almost artificial figure standing in front of you.

Then there are rubberists who care far more about the smell, tightness, heat and pressure of the material itself. In that case, yours is probably much more of a sensory fetish.

Pup Play & Headspace

If pup play appeals to you, there’s a decent chance you enjoy temporarily switching off some of the expectations that come with being an adult man.

Pups don’t need to make clever conversation, worry about looking cool or decide what happens next. They can play, wrestle, seek affection, follow a handler, misbehave or simply enjoy being praised for being a good boy.

If you’re drawn to having a handler, that may point towards a wider attraction to submission, structure and handing somebody else control. If praise and affection are the best part, you might be more interested in validation and physical closeness. And if you love pup events but couldn’t care less about being dominated? Community and playfulness may be doing most of the work.

Pup play therefore doesn’t necessarily mean that you want to be a dog… It may simply mean you enjoy having an excuse to stop behaving like the version of yourself everybody expects to see every day.

BDSM, Bondage & Control

Being into BDSM can tell you quite a lot about your relationship with control… although not always in the obvious way.

If being tied up is what gets you hard, you may be attracted to physical helplessness itself: pressure around the wrists, being unable to move, or the anticipation of not knowing what happens next.

If restraints do very little for you until somebody starts giving orders, your fetish is probably much more about submission. Being told where to kneel, when to move or what you’re allowed to do creates a hierarchy that rope alone cannot.

The opposite applies to dominant men, of course. You may enjoy responsibility, obedience, control, or simply seeing how strongly somebody responds to your authority. And of course, some men only discover which part they actually enjoy by exploring it properly, whether with a partner, at fetish events or with experienced fetish escorts in London who understand bondage, domination and power exchange.

If BDSM is your thing, the real question is whether you want to lose control, take it… or physically feel it.

Findom & Financial Submission

If findom turns you on, the money itself may be less important than what handing it over represents.

For some men, sending money is proof of obedience. You’ve been told to give, so you give. For others, the excitement comes from status: the dominant person deserves to be spoiled while you exist somewhere lower down the hierarchy.

Humiliation can play a big part too. Knowing somebody is spending your money while you get very little in return can make the imbalance feel considerably more real than simply being called submissive. And then some men simply enjoy the risk. Having somebody else influence something as serious as your finances creates a level of vulnerability that many other fetishes cannot reproduce.

So, what does findom say about you? You may be particularly aroused by sacrifice, obedience, status or giving somebody measurable power over you.

Underwear, Scent & Intimacy

If you have an underwear fetish, what you want the underwear to look (or smell) like tells you quite a lot.

If pristine jockstraps, briefs and designer underwear are your thing, the attraction may be mostly visual. Underwear frames the cock and arse, exaggerates certain parts of the male body and leaves just enough covered to make taking it off interesting.

If you’d choose a sweaty pair somebody wore to the gym over a brand-new pair every time, though, scent and intimacy are probably far more important. Worn underwear carries heat, sweat and the individual smell of another man. It’s incredibly personal without the person actually being there, which is exactly why some men find buying or keeping somebody else’s underwear so exciting.

So, an underwear fetish can say very different things about you. You might be obsessed with the male body, presentation and teasing… or you might simply love anything that feels like a particularly intimate piece of another bloke.

Sportswear & Masculine Fantasy

If sportswear does it for you, there’s a good chance the attraction is as much about the type of man associated with it as the clothing itself.

Football kits, rugby shorts, wrestling singlets, Lycra and gym gear all come with obvious associations: athletic bodies, sweat, competition, changing rooms and traditionally masculine environments.

For plenty of gay and bi men, some of those associations start early. The footballer you fancied at school, or the lads getting changed after PE can leave certain clothes carrying a sexual meaning long after you’ve left the changing room behind.

So if sportswear turns you on despite you having absolutely no interest in sport, then you probably fancy what the uniform represents.

What Your Fetishes Have In Common

If leather, uniforms, BDSM and findom all get you going, you may be especially drawn to authority, hierarchy and clearly defined roles. If rubber, bondage and tight sportswear keep cropping up, physical restriction and sensation might be your thing. 

And if your favourite part of kink is getting dressed up, heading to pup nights, leather events or fetish clubs and being around other men who are just as filthy as you are? Then community and identity may be every bit as important as the sex itself.

So, what does your fetish say about you? Not enough to diagnose your entire personality… but quite a lot about the kind of sensations, dynamics, fantasies and men your brain has decided are worth getting excited about.