One of the most challenging aspects of BDSM is finding a partner that shares the same interests as you. It is difficult for submissive individuals, as we are usually eager to find, please and serve a dominant person.

How I Found My Dominant Partner

Before I found my princess, I was already interested in BDSM and wanted to serve a dominant person. Unlike many people who discover the kink world from popular films, I stumbled across the kinky world online and quickly became obsessed.

I would spend hours on the internet reading and watching content about BDSM and eventually joined various websites like Collarspace, BDSM Date, FetLife to speak with likeminded individuals with the hope of finding a dominant I could serve. While on these sites, I had a couple of remote Dom/Sub experiences which were short-lived. Trying to find real people with a genuine interest was difficult.

Luckily for me, I found my princess through the dating app Tinder. During my time on Tinder, I was mainly searching for a vanilla relationship. Although after I met her a handful of times, I felt she had a dominant personality which intrigued me. After a short time of dating, we had a conversation about BDSM. It was something she was open to exploring and turns out works exceptionally well for both of us.

Tips For Finding A BDSM Partner

While I’m very fortunate to be in a Dom/Sub relationship, I understand how difficult it can be for others. Therefore, I wanted to share a few tips which may benefit others looking to get involved in this lifestyle.

Dating Apps & Websites

Join regular dating websites and apps. It may seem unusual, although it worked for me. It’s difficult to know if someone would be interested in BDSM, although you can pick-up signs if someone is dominant or submissive, which could spark a conversation. Try looking at Tinder or Bumble.

BDSM Apps & Websites

Get registered on BDSM related apps and websites to meet like-minded kinksters. You can usually browse and find local members to connect with and start a conversation. Try looking at FetLife, Whiplr and BDSM Date.

Attend A Munch

Within BDSM there are events called a ‘Munch’, this is a great way to meet like-minded kinky people. For many, this event can seem daunting to attend but it’s important to remember everyone attending has a mutual interest. FetLife is a good website to find these events in your area.

Be Careful

You might be desperate to serve a dominant person, especially if you have been searching for someone for a while. However, it is necessary to be safe and careful when finding or meeting new people for the first time. You can reduce risks by meeting people in public places and letting friends or family know you are meeting someone. Remember, if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

Embrace & Enjoy The Journey

Whether you are single or searching for a kinky partner, you can always find ways to indulge in BDSM. Try solo BDSM play, while it will not be the same experience, it allows you to get started. Want some kinky ideas? See our Punishment Generator and 100 Submissive Tasks & Punishments eBook.

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